A Major Break Down

Wow I was busy this weekend! I had so much going on! First and foremost: Speed Dating. You may be thinking that this sounds familiar. Apparently the last activity was such a big hit that we were asked to host another one. Hopefully this will be my last one I have to do. Although this go around went a lot smoother and things weren't QUITE as hectic as the last time, it was still a lot of work and I'm SO glad to have it behind me. But that's not the reason for this post. It's the post-speed dating that I would like to talk about.

No - there was no magic flying in my direction that night which altered my plans to leave the city. But, after spending 3 hours having this conversation:

Friend: "Why are you not participating in speed dating?"
Me: "I'm leaving in a month so there isn't a point"
Friend: "Why are you leaving? I think you should stay! I'm going to miss you. What are you going to do?"
Me: "I'm going to Costa Rica in January, but after that I have no idea."
Friend: "Go to Costa Rica and come back to NYC. I don't think you should move."

Let's just say I started to have a little anxiety about my decision. I mean...who wouldn't right? Even my bishop got involved. "You should be out there speed dating - who knows, you might meet someone who will change your mind and you will decide to stay with us. You really shouldn't move in Dec." (What was he thinking...3 minutes talking with a guy would change my life plan? I don't think so Bishop.)

Add it all together (complete exhaustion, harassment about staying, Bishop's counsel) and what do you get: a major breakdown at 1:30 am full of crying, whining, begging, pleading, praying, researching, and compromising.

Result: I'm moving back to Utah Dec. 20. That's right. Life plan not changed. Thanks to a kind, wise, loving Heavenly Father who patiently listened to my crying, whining, begging, pleading, praying, researching, and compromising, I've never felt more sure that this is what I'm supposed to do. Why am I supposed to move back to Utah - the very place I vowed never to move back to as long as I was single? No idea. But I do know that the Lord has a plan for me and knows a whole lot more of what's in store than I do (or any of my friends for that matter).

Yes, I'm going to miss NYC (more than I will probably even know until I'm gone). Yes I'm going to miss my friends (a special few in particular). Yes I'm dreading the old maid single life I'm heading towards (going from "you're so young" to "dang you're old" isn't going to be easy). Yes I'm dreading that I'm going to have to say "I live in Utah" instead of "I live in NYC" (it just doesn't have quite the same ring to it). Yes I'm still panicked about what little time I have left in NY (with each weekend full of events I have little time to do those things I haven't done yet). But Yes! I'm excited for a new chapter in my life, to be with family again, and have time to figure out what I want to do next.