When a salad isn't really a salad...

When you are feeling like eating healthy for lunch what do you grab? I grab a salad. That's healthy right?

WRONG!!!

This of course depends on where you go to get the Salad

Yep! You heard me. I learned the hard way today that my eating healthy was actually worse than going to  

McDonald's!

Here is the nutritional information from my lunch:

Calories: 685

Total Fat: 49.5g

Saturated Fat: 12g

Cholesterol:  85mg

Sodium: 1365mg

Sugar: 21g

* Nutritional information courtesy of Kneaders Bakery

I'm not making this stuff up.  

49.5g of FAT in a SALAD!!!!  

For comparison, here is the nutritional information for McDonald's Quarter Pounder w/ cheese (which I would never get bc it's so bad for you)

Calories: 510

Total Fat: 26g

Saturated Fat: 12g

Cholesterol: 90mg

Sodium: 1190mg

Sugar: 9g

*Nutritional Information courtesy of McDonald's

Luckily I had looked up the nutritional information before eating my salad so I was able to bypass the pecans (which are delicious, but contribute to the high calories, fat, and sugar). But I had already put on the dressing and so I couldn't take away those 24 g of fat and 240 calories. 

It kind of made me sick to think that one small salad could be so horrible for you! I felt like I have been swindled! I tried to be healthy, but now all I can think of is how long I'm going to have to run tonight at the gym to make up for my SALAD! I think that Utah should follow suit of New York and require restaurants to display the nutritional information. Then I would have known to ask for no pecans and no dressing.

So beware: not all salads are made equal

Reborn

I feel like I've been through a kind of re-birth as of late. And for those of you who have been around me you might be thinking to yourself "thank goodness! it's about time!" And I couldn't agree with you more. I feel like I've been in this dark place - I'll call "the womb". I've been kicking and screaming (ok babies in the womb don't actually scream...that would be creepy...but I have been, so just go with it) and I've hurting those around me (I've never been pregnant, but I'm pretty sure those kicks from inside are often quite painful). But I feel like my gestation period is over and I've come out a new me.

Let me explain...

For the past...oh...couple of months almost, I've been this alternate Kristy. For those of you who watch Fringe (and for those of you who don't - you should!) it was like I've been Walternet for the past while - this other Kristy from a parallel universe. It's like alternate Kristy crossed over and imprisoned the real Kristy somewhere she couldn't get out (like in a cell with no lights on). (I apologize - I just watched last season's finale of Fringe yesterday and dreamed about being in an alternate world all night - so it's kind of on my mind).

Anyway, like Walternet, I don't like this other Kristy. She's mean. She's judgmental. She's anti-social. She's really anti-everything and everyone. She's quiet. She's sad. She's angry. In short - she's not me.

Well...she is me. But not who I want to be.

Like I was saying...

I've been this other person. But I feel like I'm FINALLY getting out of it! I think my "funk" is finally starting to end which hopefully means I am returning to the fun and happy Kristy. The Kristy people like (including myself).

And what has caused this change? Well I pretty much can chalk it all up to a great Relief Society teacher and an excellent example. And of course my Heavenly Father. I don't really want to go into all the details, but it was through a RS lesson the other week that I really began to realize something was missing from my life and that I needed to change. But being the stubborn person that I am it took a few more inspired RS lessons to really sink in. And then the constant example of a roommate helped me see what I needed to do. Finally, and most importantly, the Lord was, and is, there to help me become a better person. To help me be kinder, happier, more fun...the Kristy I want to be.

I wish that I could really just start anew. But I know there are hurt feelings in the wake alternate Kristy left behind, and the real Kristy is left to fix things. But while I'm trying to make things better, I'm also thinking of it as a time to start over in the areas that I can (such as exercising, reading my scriptures, praying, etc.). Instead of focusing on all the things that I've failed at lately, I'm going to try extra hard to only focus on the future and what I can do to succeed. I really am thinking of this as a re-birth of a brand new me.

Inspired

Today I was privileged to attend the YWCA LeaderLuncheon. There were over 1200 people in attendance - most very accomplished women. I felt so privileged to be in their presence. They honored a number of women who have done a lot for the community. It made me feel like I don't do enough good in the world. I wanted to be like these women who put in so much time and effort into helping other people. I feel like most of my time and effort goes into helping me. And who's happier do you think? They are. The ones helping others. They are much happier.

The keynote speaker was Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses. She is an amazing woman. She's had a very different life from me - one I would call difficult. But the things she's been able to do, the lives she's been able to touch, the life she's made for herself out of literally nothing is truly inspiring. I wish that I could write down all the things she said today. It was really inspiring.

She told stories about her life, but more importantly, she told what she learned from those experiences. She said how she used to be ashamed of her past - didn't want anyone to know about her life growing up. She thought the friends she had made and the job she had acquired would all go away if her true self were discovered. She tried to hide herself from the world. She moved to NYC to become a new person, only to be followed there by the very people she was running away from.

She finally discovered, after seeing her mom homeless on the street, that she didn't need to forget her family, but she needed to forgive. Not her family, but herself. She didn't like the person she had become - hiding from her mom, scared that someone would find out who that homeless person was. Even though her mom was homeless and Jeannette was living in an apartment on Park Ave, it was her mom who was happy. Her mom is the eternal optimist. She never saw herself as homeless - she had a home - it was under the George Washington Bridge.

I could go on and on about the stories she told and the lessons that she learned. But I won't. I seriously wish all of you could have been there. I was truly inspired by Jeannette Walls and her story. Even though her childhood was terrible and I'd NEVER want what she went through, I found myself being jealous of her. Not jealous of the fame or the money or the worldly success, but she knows exactly who she iss. And more importantly, she's happy with who she is. She's successful in the ways that I want to be.

All the women that spoke today are successful in the same way. They have lived amazing lives. They have touched others' lives. When they depart from this world, they will be remembered. They have been loved and more importantly they have loved.

Anyway...the point of this post was just to say that I wish I were more like these women. I was truly inspired by what was said today and I hope that one day I can feel like I belong in their presence. I hope that one day someone can say that I have touched their life for the better. I want to make a difference. But I think, first, I need to follow Jeannette Walls' lead and forgive myself. Not for wanting to forget my past necessarily, but for other things. I don't always like myself and I think that is the main thing I need to forgive myself for. I need to learn to love myself and then maybe one day I can hopefully love others as much as these wonderful women today love those around them.

How Did I Ever Do It?

Today is Friday. So that would normally mean that I wouldn't be working, right? WRONG! Because of the tax deadline that is coming up on Sept. 15, I have been working for the past couple of Fridays. It's been pretty busy around here and I probably shouldn't be blogging right now, but I need a mental break while I eat lunch.

So now that I've had to go back to working 5 days a week I'm really wondering how I used to do it. It's hard! I get so ready to be done with work by the time Thursday afternoon comes along that it's really hard for me to get out of bed Friday mornings. Oh - and I didn't even have work on Monday due to Labor Day and it was still hard this morning. I think it's a mentality thing.

Money-wise I'm going to really enjoy working an extra day each week and I kind of wish it would last longer than just through the tax deadlines (Oct. 15 is the last one until April). But physically and emotionally I miss my extra day off each week.

Plus the days I have worked this week have been long ones. Not NYC PwC long, but ya know - 10 hour days. But that also makes me wonder how I was able to put in those long hours at PwC for over 2 years. I can't imagine working a 18 hour day right now. The thought makes me tired.

Well...I know this post was really pointless and maybe didn't even make sense, but I felt like I needed to write down my thoughts. So there you have it.