Inspired

Today I was privileged to attend the YWCA LeaderLuncheon. There were over 1200 people in attendance - most very accomplished women. I felt so privileged to be in their presence. They honored a number of women who have done a lot for the community. It made me feel like I don't do enough good in the world. I wanted to be like these women who put in so much time and effort into helping other people. I feel like most of my time and effort goes into helping me. And who's happier do you think? They are. The ones helping others. They are much happier.

The keynote speaker was Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle and Half Broke Horses. She is an amazing woman. She's had a very different life from me - one I would call difficult. But the things she's been able to do, the lives she's been able to touch, the life she's made for herself out of literally nothing is truly inspiring. I wish that I could write down all the things she said today. It was really inspiring.

She told stories about her life, but more importantly, she told what she learned from those experiences. She said how she used to be ashamed of her past - didn't want anyone to know about her life growing up. She thought the friends she had made and the job she had acquired would all go away if her true self were discovered. She tried to hide herself from the world. She moved to NYC to become a new person, only to be followed there by the very people she was running away from.

She finally discovered, after seeing her mom homeless on the street, that she didn't need to forget her family, but she needed to forgive. Not her family, but herself. She didn't like the person she had become - hiding from her mom, scared that someone would find out who that homeless person was. Even though her mom was homeless and Jeannette was living in an apartment on Park Ave, it was her mom who was happy. Her mom is the eternal optimist. She never saw herself as homeless - she had a home - it was under the George Washington Bridge.

I could go on and on about the stories she told and the lessons that she learned. But I won't. I seriously wish all of you could have been there. I was truly inspired by Jeannette Walls and her story. Even though her childhood was terrible and I'd NEVER want what she went through, I found myself being jealous of her. Not jealous of the fame or the money or the worldly success, but she knows exactly who she iss. And more importantly, she's happy with who she is. She's successful in the ways that I want to be.

All the women that spoke today are successful in the same way. They have lived amazing lives. They have touched others' lives. When they depart from this world, they will be remembered. They have been loved and more importantly they have loved.

Anyway...the point of this post was just to say that I wish I were more like these women. I was truly inspired by what was said today and I hope that one day I can feel like I belong in their presence. I hope that one day someone can say that I have touched their life for the better. I want to make a difference. But I think, first, I need to follow Jeannette Walls' lead and forgive myself. Not for wanting to forget my past necessarily, but for other things. I don't always like myself and I think that is the main thing I need to forgive myself for. I need to learn to love myself and then maybe one day I can hopefully love others as much as these wonderful women today love those around them.