You know that ride at Lagoon - the Tidal Wave? I love that ride. For those who aren't familiar with it, it's a pirate ship that moves back and forth. So half the time you're going backwards and the other half you're moving forward. It might not sound like such a fun ride, but trust me it is. It gives your stomach that funny feeling that is so thrilling. Plus, when each end of the ship goes up, the riders on that side yell and throw their hands in the air.
Well...that's how my life has been the past 24 hours - except for the fun aspect. I jumped on this ride knowing that it wasn't going to be the best experience, but I didn't comprehend the emotional Tidal Wave I was putting myself on. Just right when I think all is right in the world, I get jerked backwards and my life is starting to flip upside down. Instead of cheers and yells at the top, there are tears. I don't see how things will work out and I lose it. After I calm down a bit, I begin to re-adjust my thinking and starting to plan things out. But just I'm coming to terms with things, BAM! I start going forward again.
I am thrown back into the situation I was in before getting pulled backwards. At the bottom there aren't yells (or tears) from me, more of a sigh of relief. Things are back to how I had originally planned, so all is right. I begin to thank the Lord for this new/old situation. But again, as soon as I get comfortable with that, I get thrown backwards.
Even though the Tidal Wave is a very fun ride, by the end I'm always ready to get off. After the thrill goes away, the nausea sets in. There's only so much going back and forth your stomach can handle before revolting. Well...I've gone through this emotional Tidal Wave about a half dozen times now and I can tell you I'M READY TO GET OFF THIS RIDE! Like my stomach, there is only so much my emotions can handle before revolting.
Right now I'm sitting at the bottom of the ride - back to the beginning so to speak. If I get pulled back another time, I might just throw up (emotionally speaking). And like it or not, whether I end up at the top of the ride or the bottom, I'm getting off. Let's just hope & pray I won't be jumping into that nasty lake water that surrounds the ship.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
3 for 3
I don't like doctors.
Let me rephrase that...I don't like going to the doctor. I like doctors. I have 2 in my family and I love medicine. Plus, is there anything better than a young, hot, sexy (& single) doctor? I declare there is not.
Anyway...back to the purpose of this blog.
I don't go to the doctor. EVER. Even growing up we didn't go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. For the most part, my mom would just nurse us better with foot rubs and a lot of TLC (tender loving care, not the TV channel). I only got physicals when they were required for drill team. So you can easily deduce that once I was out of high school I never had a reason to go to the doctor. If I ever did get sick enough to need a prescription, I would just call up my brother and he would get me what I needed.
So how did I end up with 3 appointments with 3 different doctors in 3 weeks? Well I'll tell you.
My "no doctor" policy remained in effect until THIS happened almost a year and a half ago.
Well, remember how I said that I was going to take care of my little problem? I finally did today. I went to a doctor. My doctor reassured me that most likely the lump was still a fibroadenoma. I was feeling good about things until she said that she recommends I get it removed because it was easily the largest lump she's come across - and she's seen a lot of lumps in her time (her exact words). I was planning on getting the monster removed anyway, but did she really need to tell me that she's never seen one as large as mine? Come on.
Anyway...I scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound for next week and surgery for the following week. That's right - 3 doctor's appointments in 3 weeks. I'm not really looking forward to the upcoming appointments, but it will be good to get this issue taken care of once and for all.
As a side note...I figured that while I was at it, I would get my full physical today since it had been approximately 10 years since my last one. Since I hadn't been to the doctor in so long, my doctor asked when the last time was that I had my tetanus shot. I couldn't remember. I figured it had been in high school. So I got one (that plus blood tests in one day is not good for me - I don't like needles). As I was driving to work later, the pain in my left arm reminded me of a few months ago when I was preparing to go to Costa Rica and I got a...wait for it...tetanus shot.
That's right - an immunization that you're supposed to get once every 10 years, I got 2 of in the SAME YEAR! Needless to say I got a little worried and immediately looked up what would happen if this happened. Result: possible painful swelling at the injection site & a headache. Well...I could have told you that one. My arm feels dead and is considerably larger than my right one, and the longer I sit here the more my head pounds. But good news - those are the only side effects they know of. I guess I can deal with them.
Let me rephrase that...I don't like going to the doctor. I like doctors. I have 2 in my family and I love medicine. Plus, is there anything better than a young, hot, sexy (& single) doctor? I declare there is not.
Anyway...back to the purpose of this blog.
I don't go to the doctor. EVER. Even growing up we didn't go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. For the most part, my mom would just nurse us better with foot rubs and a lot of TLC (tender loving care, not the TV channel). I only got physicals when they were required for drill team. So you can easily deduce that once I was out of high school I never had a reason to go to the doctor. If I ever did get sick enough to need a prescription, I would just call up my brother and he would get me what I needed.
So how did I end up with 3 appointments with 3 different doctors in 3 weeks? Well I'll tell you.
My "no doctor" policy remained in effect until THIS happened almost a year and a half ago.
Well, remember how I said that I was going to take care of my little problem? I finally did today. I went to a doctor. My doctor reassured me that most likely the lump was still a fibroadenoma. I was feeling good about things until she said that she recommends I get it removed because it was easily the largest lump she's come across - and she's seen a lot of lumps in her time (her exact words). I was planning on getting the monster removed anyway, but did she really need to tell me that she's never seen one as large as mine? Come on.
Anyway...I scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound for next week and surgery for the following week. That's right - 3 doctor's appointments in 3 weeks. I'm not really looking forward to the upcoming appointments, but it will be good to get this issue taken care of once and for all.
As a side note...I figured that while I was at it, I would get my full physical today since it had been approximately 10 years since my last one. Since I hadn't been to the doctor in so long, my doctor asked when the last time was that I had my tetanus shot. I couldn't remember. I figured it had been in high school. So I got one (that plus blood tests in one day is not good for me - I don't like needles). As I was driving to work later, the pain in my left arm reminded me of a few months ago when I was preparing to go to Costa Rica and I got a...wait for it...tetanus shot.
That's right - an immunization that you're supposed to get once every 10 years, I got 2 of in the SAME YEAR! Needless to say I got a little worried and immediately looked up what would happen if this happened. Result: possible painful swelling at the injection site & a headache. Well...I could have told you that one. My arm feels dead and is considerably larger than my right one, and the longer I sit here the more my head pounds. But good news - those are the only side effects they know of. I guess I can deal with them.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Awake Thinking
It's 1:45 am and I'm awake. Sad thing was, I actually fell asleep 2 hours ago - for like 10 min but still. Then I was awake just thinking.
This isn't a new phenomenon for me. I lie awake most nights thinking. It usually takes me an hour or so to fall asleep due to this thinking, but tonight the thinking made me more awake than I was when I started thinking. Man I hate these nights.
I started thinking about my lack of dating and worrying that I will never get married. I started to get pretty down. Then I recalled what was said in a movie I watched earlier tonight - "If you want a relationship, here is how you get one: it's called a Stairmaster."
No - it's not the most uplifting quote. But it did put a fire under my butt.
So here I was - 12:00 am, wide awake, feeling down, and I remember (1) the movie quote & (2) speaker from Sunday who talked about goal setting. So what did I do? Well...it's pretty self explanatory. I followed the guy's advice (I don't remember his name...sorry) and wrote down goals to get myself in better shape. I'm not saying I'm doing this just to get a guy - that'd be lame. But I'm hoping that it won't hurt ;) hehe.
So here it is - my new goal: lose 30 pounds by April 30, 2011.
What I hope to achieve by reaching my goal (other than a smaller waistline):
(1) healthier lifestyle
(2) more self-esteem
I know the next 6 months are not going to be that easy - especially with the holidays and yummy food/sweets. But I'm going to do it. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
This isn't a new phenomenon for me. I lie awake most nights thinking. It usually takes me an hour or so to fall asleep due to this thinking, but tonight the thinking made me more awake than I was when I started thinking. Man I hate these nights.
I started thinking about my lack of dating and worrying that I will never get married. I started to get pretty down. Then I recalled what was said in a movie I watched earlier tonight - "If you want a relationship, here is how you get one: it's called a Stairmaster."
No - it's not the most uplifting quote. But it did put a fire under my butt.
So here I was - 12:00 am, wide awake, feeling down, and I remember (1) the movie quote & (2) speaker from Sunday who talked about goal setting. So what did I do? Well...it's pretty self explanatory. I followed the guy's advice (I don't remember his name...sorry) and wrote down goals to get myself in better shape. I'm not saying I'm doing this just to get a guy - that'd be lame. But I'm hoping that it won't hurt ;) hehe.
So here it is - my new goal: lose 30 pounds by April 30, 2011.
What I hope to achieve by reaching my goal (other than a smaller waistline):
(1) healthier lifestyle
(2) more self-esteem
I know the next 6 months are not going to be that easy - especially with the holidays and yummy food/sweets. But I'm going to do it. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
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