Spring Cleaning

Warm, sunny weather often triggers a spring cleaning. Getting rid of junk lying around the house. Working off those few extra pounds trying to get ready for swim suit season (scary!!). Going through drawers and closets to get rid of out-of-style clothes. Etc, etc. My spring cleaning is coming as a different variety this year. Yes, I am still planning on going through my stuff to clear out the clutter, but that will come after busy season (April 15 can't come quickly enough). Right now I'm spring cleaning out the "junk" in my life.

This weekend in NY was BEAUTIFUL!! 64 degrees!! After snow earlier in the week and being bitter cold, this warm weather felt like Heaven, and I tried to take advantage of it. Saturday night, after being out with friends, I decided to walk the 3 miles home from Port Authority (this decision was made for me as I watched the bus pull away while I was crossing the street).

I was grateful for this time that I had alone to just enjoy the wonderful weather and think. During this hour walk home I thought about life and what I was doing with it and where I wanted to be. The outcome: I don't want to do what I'm doing right now for the rest of my life. Work is OK for now, but I have NO passion for it. I do taxes for hedge funds and I've learned that I don't give a rat's tail about the financial industry. And I decided that I want to do something that I LOVE.

OK...I know that might be asking a lot out of a job - there are a lot of people out there who stick with a job they don't really like for 30+ years because it pays the bills, etc. But I'm young and I don't want to live that kind of life.

So you may be wondering what I would like to do. Well, honestly, someday I dream of being a stay at home mom with a family to take care of. I might have a job on the side of teaching dance or teaching a high school accounting class. Or maybe learning a new hobby. The possibilities are endless in my mind. (As I side note, there was a time not too long ago that the idea of being a stay at home was NOT what I wanted and that I planned on hiring a nanny and working full time when I had kids.)

But I've got to be realistic and can't plan my life around the mysterious Mr. Right. So what's my plan? I don't know. I know I will be in NY for at least another year, and possibly longer. Hopefully the economy turns around and places will start hiring again, so I don't feel pigeon-holed at my job. I might look for a teaching opportunity at a high school teaching basic accounting. Maybe I'll apply to a boutique in SOHO to take care of their books. Maybe I'll move out to CA and teach surf lessons (I've actually never surfed in my life - but I can learn). Maybe I'll move home and become a baby-sitter for my darling nieces and nephews (even though all my sisters and sisters-in-law are WONDERFUL mothers and I would probably just get in the way). Maybe I'll follow my dreams of performing and join the circus.

In others words... I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I WANT TO DO! But that's OK. I actually feel really great after my "soul searching" walk home. I de-cluttered my thoughts on my life. It might seem like I haven't since I have no actual plan, but I know now that I don't always have to have a plan and that I'm not stuck here and I have plenty of options. And while I would LOVE to be married right now and start that chapter of my life, I'm grateful that I'm single and that I can try out different paths and if I fail I only have me to worry about. Plus I know I can move home if ever I lose everything (which I'm VERY grateful for).

And while I'm on the topic of things I'm grateful for, I feel like I need to list a few others:
1- church leaders who are inspired to speak about this exact topic in Ward conference today
2- a great friend who I can talk about this with and who I feel is kind of an extension of myself
3- parents who I know love me and will support me in whatever crazy, hair-brained idea I finally end up pursuing
4- having an education that allows me to enter into other lines of work
5- a Heavenly Father who will guide me on this crazy journey that we call life