Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

I hate that question. I really do. Especially when it's in an interview.

Any time I get asked this question I want to respond with "Heck! I don't know what I want to be doing tomorrow, let alone five years from now."

Sure, when I think of what I want my life to be like when I'm 32...almost 33 (holy crap I'm getting old!), I have a picture in mind. I want to be married, with a kid (maybe 2?), not working outside of the home, living outside of Utah, and happy. Pretty much nothing like what my life is now.

Well except for the happy part. Because I am extremely happy right now.

The tricky part is that my ideal future isn't solely dependent on me. Since it involves another (i.e. a future husband & kids), I can't plan on where I will be in 5 years. I don't even feel like I can plan on where I'll be in 1 year. That's a little scary for me.

I'm a planner. I like to know what's going on days (weeks, months, years) in advance. None of this "fly by the seat of your pants" crap for me. Agendas are my heroine. I blame my dad for making me this way.

But when your future is so unknown, you can't have an agenda. I can't say that on Jan. 15 (total random day that just popped into my head right now and holds completely no significance whatsoever...promise) I'll be married. And then exactly 1 year 4 months and 10 days after that I will have my first baby girl names Emily.

Nope. None of that planning is possible. And it's frustrating.

Sometimes I would LOVE to have just a tiny glimpse into my future. Wouldn't that be nice? Every time someone asks you, "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" you could simply close your eyes, take a second and actually SEE where you will be in 5 years? Man, that'd be AWESOME!

But we can't. We just have to keep playing this guessing game and planning for a future that may never happen.

As a quick experiment, I want you to think back to where you were 5 years ago. Ask your then 5-year-younger self where he/she sees him/herself in 5 years and tell me if it is anything like where you are today.

For me...no way am I'm where I thought/hoped/wished/planned I'd be. 5 years ago I was 22 (almost 23). I was in my last year at BYU living it up. I had a job offer in NYC at one of the largest accounting firms and I couldn't wait to start that new adventure! All I had to do was finish these last few classes and real life could begin.

At that time in my life I was career driven. I wanted to work for a large corporation, earn lots of money, succeed in business...ya know...be a career woman. Sure, I also wanted other things. I wanted to be married in 5 years. Maybe have a family. But if I did, I would still be working. Nannies are abundant in NYC...totally the way to go. I saw myself living in NYC, still working for PwC - or if not, some other big company out there.

If you had told my 22 year old self that in 5 years I'd be back living at my parents house, not married, no kids, at a job that I only sometimes like, dating a boy who is 4 years younger than me...I probably would have just given up with life. Well...I actually wouldn't have believed you. I would have laughed in your face & exclaimed that there was no way that would be my life.

Maybe that's why we are never allowed to see a glimpse into our future. We probably wouldn't believe it anyway. And if we did, it might make so we didn't push ourselves for something better. Something more than what we have now. If I had known that in 5 years I'd be where I am today, maybe I wouldn't have moved to NYC and had as many adventures that I've had. And I would have missed out on so many things!

So I guess it's a good thing that we can't know what our lives will be like in 1, 5, 10 years from now. We can plan, hope, and pray for life to be like what we want it to be. But you never know where life will take you. Maybe in 5 years I will have my "dream" life. Or maybe I'll look back at what I want now and just laugh at how different my life is than how I'd planned.

That's the beautiful/horrible thing about life. It's completely unpredictable.