A Family Affair

Fist things first: Happy Mother's Day to my mom!!! I love you so much! Thanks for all you do for me and for being such a shining example in my life. I've enjoyed living back at home because it's given me the chance to get even closer to you and to share more of my life with you. You are truly an amazing woman, daughter, wife, mother, and grandmother. I love you Mom! Happy Mother's Day!

In celebration of Mother's Day, my entire family came up for some food and family bonding time. That's one thing that I've loved about moving back home - all the family get togethers we have. Growing up I was always pretty private about my life (ie dating life). It helped that by the time I started dating, everyone was out of the house and a few of my siblings were even out of state. Plus it was just high school and who is interested in little high school romances anyway?

Then I moved to Provo and not even my parents knew about my dating life. I introduced one boy to my parents the entire 5 years at BYU (and that ended terribly - so we normally just skip over that time in my life and pretend it never really happened). Then I moved even further away from the family and so obviously they were kept in the dark.

Honestly, I liked it that way. With my siblings kept in the dark about who I liked and who I dated, there was never any pressure. Sure, I could have done with their advice sometimes since they are all successfully married with kids, but I had plenty of friends for that, right?

And then I moved back home. Back to living with the parents. Back within 20 minutes of every sibling. Back to family gatherings. Back to having boys pick me up for dates at my house and my parents answering the door.

And you know what comes with all of that...the entire family knowing about my entire dating life. Yes - I could probably keep most of my dating life a secret from the family still if I really wanted. But I've discovered that it's actually quite fun and entertaining to discuss it with the fam.

Take yesterday, for example. The family was gathered around the kitchen counter talking and eating. I was discussing boys with my sister and soon enough the ENTIRE family was in on the conversation giving me advice. They were actually all really interested in what was going on - wanting to know names, discuss dates/interactions, etc.

Then we started discussing hugs. This is where I actually taught my siblings something they never knew. There are different hugs that mean different things in the dating world. And for those who haven't learned these different hugs and are still dating - it's about time you did (this was also a good lesson for my nephew who recently turned 16!!). So here you have it:

1 - The one arm hug: friends, buddies, pals. No romance wanted. This is not a hug I would want from someone I'm interested in. I don't really even like these hugs from friends. To me - this is the rejection hug.
2 - The over-under hug: this is where the guy has one arm over and the other under the girl's arm. The meaning of this hug is up for debate. It's a lot less intimate than the around the neck/waist hug (see below), but it doesn't mean just friends necessarily. But for me - that's how I hug my good guy friends and I would want more out of a hug from a guy I'm dating. But on the other hand, that's how my parents hug each other and they've been married for 44 years...
3 - The around the neck/waist hug. This depends on height. If the guy is super tall, then the girl obviously hugs around his waist with his arms around her neck. If the guy isn't too tall, then vice verse. This too has a few meanings. This is really the only option for hugging a tall guy (except the one arm hug that I rarely use anyways...even for friends). But I also feel this is the hug I would want from a guy I'm dating. It seems much better than the over-under hug because you can just melt into them in this one and it's much more intimate. And much easier to kiss in this position ;)

Yes - I did have this discussion with my entire family. And yes - it was accompanied by demonstrations (thanks to my sister Corrine for being my hugging partner) and lots of laughter. I also got some great advice from all my siblings and parents. Well, except for one brother who just told me my dad obviously wasn't paying any boys enough...

All-in-all it was a great afternoon with the family full of lots of laughter. It's fun to be able to laugh about my dating life with those I love the most. Moving back home, I wasn't looking forward to having my family be all up in my business, but now that they are I like it! I'm grateful for my siblings' advice and their encouragement that I deserve the best. I love my family and the closeness that we share. Even if I don't always live near them (who knows what life will bring right?) I think I will always remember the many times of sitting in the kitchen, talking and laughing and growing closer together.

Thanks fam for a Mother's Day I won't forget!