For those of you who have been following my blog for a while know how I've struggled with the question of what I want to be when I grow up. Well folks, it's that time of year where once again I am asking myself this question. The sad thing is, every time I have this question I realize that I AM grown up (or at least MORE grown up than I was before). But that doesn't mean I know what I want to do.
I struggle with what is practical vs what I love vs what will pay the bills. Sometimes I wish that I had just followed my first love & gone into medicine. I don't know if I would be any happier with my job than I am with mine now, but I'd like to think I would be. I still love medicine and am fascinated by it. But I'm past the time where doing anything in the medical field is feasible (see...the whole practical side of me steps in).
I still haven't completely given up the idea of being a teacher. I think that I could be a good teacher. I think that I would enjoy it. But then again, I've never done it and the thought that after I put in the time and energy and resources to become a teacher I will discover that it's really not for me scares me half to death. Then where will I be? Besides...I have to consider the salary of a teacher and I wonder if it would really support my lifestyle (that might make me high maintenance, but whatever).
It's scary considering doing anything other than accounting because that's what I know. That's what I do. That's what I've done for the past 4 years & I know I'm good at it. I don't like failing. And if I change fields then there is the chance that I will fail. I don't like that.
But I'm not happy doing taxes. I don't get any amount of satisfaction from my work. I dread going to work every day. I envy the people who say they love their job. I need to find that. I want to find something that I'm excited to get out of bed for every morning. As of now, I hit the snooze button as many times as I can before I feel too guilty about being THAT late to work that I finally force myself to crawl out of bed. Sure...that might have something to do with the fact I don't get to bed before 1:30 am ever. But part of it is the job.
So...I've decided. Today after work, I'm going to start looking online and talking to people about possible jobs. I'm just going to see what's out there in the field of bookkeeping or office management. I feel like those types of jobs would be a change, but not ones that will make me push aside my training. I'm also going to start focusing my prayers towards this as well. I'm hoping for some divine intervention here.
I don't know what I'll end up doing. But whether I stay at my current job or I find another accounting position or I do something completely different, all I know is that something has to change. Even if that something is just my attitude and focus. I can't have any more days like today where I can only say I worked 3 of the 8 hours I've been here. Much too painful. So wish me luck on my search for greener pastures :)
2 comments:
Kristy! I haven't talked to you in such a long time, but I check in on your blog to see how you're doing. (Is it still creepy if you know the person?) Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I heard TODAY of a job where the boss needs to have a person by this Friday to recommend. I don't know much about the job except that it would be cost accounting and that there would be some management-type stuff. I also know your boss, and he would be super fun to work with. It's at a company that makes outdoors-y type stuff, I think, and I think it could be fun. I'd apply but it's in Clearfield, so way too far for me since we're still in Orem. Anyway, if you're interested at all let me know. I hope things are going great for you!
kristy i like the idea of building form the excellent training you already have. you could try substititue teaching a couple times and couple that with planning lessons youve got a pretty good idea about teaching. i loved the lesson planning and prep but didnt enjoy being in the classroom as much as i thought. now that im at home i struggle too though. i think gosh would i be happy anywhere? my current guilty pleasure is party planning and interior decorating. youre not alone
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