Yesterday was the first day I had seen you since you broke my heart. And yes...it was as difficult as I thought it would be. I hope you didn't see me walk in, spot you sitting on MY bench, walk out, pace back and forth, go get a drink, then finally get the courage enough to walk back in. How could you choose to sit on MY bench? You know that's where I always sit. You like sitting in the front of the chapel...REMEMBER?!?! Ugh! I don't know if you saw me glance back at you. I don't know if the upset look I saw on your face had to do with seeing me or the fact that I was squished between 2 guys or the talk that was being given. Maybe you saw that B & I were sitting a little closer than normal. I wish I knew. I wish you had talked to me. Or even acknowledged my presence. Maybe next week? I hope you're doing OK.
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Dear B,
Thanks for sitting next to me in church yesterday. Thanks for not being hurt when I didn't hold your hand. I know you wanted to hold mine. And that alone helped me get through the day. Thanks for not being upset when you caught me looking back at J & shedding a tear (twice). Thanks for being my support. I don't know if you realized why I was so upset, but I think you have a pretty good idea. And thanks for understanding when I told you that I didn't want to talk about it. Wait...is that why you rubbed my back? To show J that I had moved on and that I was no longer his? If so, that's pretty funny. But I hope you know I'm not ready to be completely yours yet. Please continue to be patient with me. I like having you around. I think you're pretty great! Just give me time.
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Dear B (#2),
Do you really need to go back to Provo to finish your MPA? I don't know what I'm going to do without you. You've become such a good friend these past few weeks. I love talking to you. I love hanging out with you. I'm going to miss you tons! Thanks for being someone to talk to when I needed you most. You're a great guy & a great friend. Please keep in touch! I'll be calling for guy advice soon I'm sure.
1 comment:
I'm sad I didn't get to talk to you after... but it's interesting to hear what was going on on the other side of the squished row. :) Hope you're doing okay...or as okay as possible at least.
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