Picture Update

So I realized that I haven't posted any pictures of what I've been up to lately in a REALLY long time. As in since JUNE! Holy crap! I apologize. I've been so serious in my blog posts lately - what with the complaining and moping and deep thinking I've been doing - I haven't had the time to post fun things I've been doing. Sad thing is, I haven't even taken most of my pictures off my camera. I've been slacking in many ways. So New Year's resolution: post more pictures and talk about the fun things I'm doing along with the 'thoughtful' posts. Good plan? I think so. And just to prove that I'm serious about this, here are a few (ha) pictures of some of the stuff I've been up to lately. Don't worry - I'm not going all the way back to June (you can thank me later).

HALLOWEEN

Frightmares @ Lagoon

 Witches' Night Out for Jo's birthday

 

 

Ward Halloween Party

(I was the outline of a dead body at a crime scene)

MY SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY

 THANKSGIVING TURKEY 5K RUN

 

MEXICAN TOGA PARTY (HEATHER'S BIRTHDAY)

NEW YORK CITY

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AT TEMPLE SQUARE

BLACK & WHITE NEW YEAR'S PARTY

That, in a nut shell, is what I've been up to.

Grumpy

"When your friends have great news you're happy for them for like a millisecond and then you start thinking about yourself." - Ted Mosby (How I Met Your Mother)

The title of this post and that quote might at first not go together but let me explain.

I'm having one of those days where I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I'm wondering why I even bothered to get out of bed actually. I really should have just crawled back in, turned off the lights, and called in sick. I'm not getting any work done anyways...obviously.

But why am I so grumpy? Well, I'm not sure. But my grumpiness is making it harder to be happy for my friends who have good things going for them. Reading through blogs and browsing facebook today, I have been thrown into the happy lives of my friends - darling kids, new relationships, fun trips with friends, etc. And like that quote above says - I'm happy for them for like a millisecond and then I think about myself and realize that I don't have any of that going on and that my life is pretty crap right now.

Sure, from the outside my life isn't really that crap, but today it feels like it. It's just one of those days. I feel friendless, boyfriendless, and fat. So I'm going to be grumpy about all the good things going on in my friends' lives today. I'm going to throw a pity party for myself later complete with cookies and chocolate. Then I'll just have another thing to be grumpy about (being fatter). Oh well - I'll deal with that later.

So, if anyone out there is also having a crap day and needs to have a pity party, you are welcome to come over to my house tonight and be miserable with me. However, I hope everyone is having a better day than me (well...kind of...j/k! Haha!)

Tidal Wave

You know that ride at Lagoon - the Tidal Wave? I love that ride. For those who aren't familiar with it, it's a pirate ship that moves back and forth. So half the time you're going backwards and the other half you're moving forward. It might not sound like such a fun ride, but trust me it is. It gives your stomach that funny feeling that is so thrilling. Plus, when each end of the ship goes up, the riders on that side yell and throw their hands in the air.

Well...that's how my life has been the past 24 hours - except for the fun aspect. I jumped on this ride knowing that it wasn't going to be the best experience, but I didn't comprehend the emotional Tidal Wave I was putting myself on. Just right when I think all is right in the world, I get jerked backwards and my life is starting to flip upside down. Instead of cheers and yells at the top, there are tears. I don't see how things will work out and I lose it. After I calm down a bit, I begin to re-adjust my thinking and starting to plan things out. But just I'm coming to terms with things, BAM! I start going forward again.

I am thrown back into the situation I was in before getting pulled backwards. At the bottom there aren't yells (or tears) from me, more of a sigh of relief. Things are back to how I had originally planned, so all is right. I begin to thank the Lord for this new/old situation. But again, as soon as I get comfortable with that, I get thrown backwards.

Even though the Tidal Wave is a very fun ride, by the end I'm always ready to get off. After the thrill goes away, the nausea sets in. There's only so much going back and forth your stomach can handle before revolting. Well...I've gone through this emotional Tidal Wave about a half dozen times now and I can tell you I'M READY TO GET OFF THIS RIDE! Like my stomach, there is only so much my emotions can handle before revolting.

Right now I'm sitting at the bottom of the ride - back to the beginning so to speak. If I get pulled back another time, I might just throw up (emotionally speaking). And like it or not, whether I end up at the top of the ride or the bottom, I'm getting off. Let's just hope & pray I won't be jumping into that nasty lake water that surrounds the ship.

3 for 3

I don't like doctors.

Let me rephrase that...I don't like going to the doctor. I like doctors. I have 2 in my family and I love medicine. Plus, is there anything better than a young, hot, sexy (& single) doctor? I declare there is not.

Anyway...back to the purpose of this blog.

I don't go to the doctor. EVER. Even growing up we didn't go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. For the most part, my mom would just nurse us better with foot rubs and a lot of TLC (tender loving care, not the TV channel). I only got physicals when they were required for drill team. So you can easily deduce that once I was out of high school I never had a reason to go to the doctor. If I ever did get sick enough to need a prescription, I would just call up my brother and he would get me what I needed.

So how did I end up with 3 appointments with 3 different doctors in 3 weeks? Well I'll tell you.

My "no doctor" policy remained in effect until THIS happened almost a year and a half ago.

Well, remember how I said that I was going to take care of my little problem? I finally did today. I went to a doctor. My doctor reassured me that most likely the lump was still a fibroadenoma. I was feeling good about things until she said that she recommends I get it removed because it was easily the largest lump she's come across - and she's seen a lot of lumps in her time (her exact words). I was planning on getting the monster removed anyway, but did she really need to tell me that she's never seen one as large as mine? Come on.

Anyway...I scheduled a mammogram and ultrasound for next week and surgery for the following week. That's right - 3 doctor's appointments in 3 weeks. I'm not really looking forward to the upcoming appointments, but it will be good to get this issue taken care of once and for all.

As a side note...I figured that while I was at it, I would get my full physical today since it had been approximately 10 years since my last one. Since I hadn't been to the doctor in so long, my doctor asked when the last time was that I had my tetanus shot. I couldn't remember. I figured it had been in high school. So I got one (that plus blood tests in one day is not good for me - I don't like needles). As I was driving to work later, the pain in my left arm reminded me of a few months ago when I was preparing to go to Costa Rica and I got a...wait for it...tetanus shot.

That's right - an immunization that you're supposed to get once every 10 years, I got 2 of in the SAME YEAR! Needless to say I got a little worried and immediately looked up what would happen if this happened. Result: possible painful swelling at the injection site & a headache. Well...I could have told you that one. My arm feels dead and is considerably larger than my right one, and the longer I sit here the more my head pounds. But good news - those are the only side effects they know of. I guess I can deal with them.

Awake Thinking

It's 1:45 am and I'm awake. Sad thing was, I actually fell asleep 2 hours ago - for like 10 min but still. Then I was awake just thinking.

This isn't a new phenomenon for me. I lie awake most nights thinking. It usually takes me an hour or so to fall asleep due to this thinking, but tonight the thinking made me more awake than I was when I started thinking. Man I hate these nights.

I started thinking about my lack of dating and worrying that I will never get married. I started to get pretty down. Then I recalled what was said in a movie I watched earlier tonight - "If you want a relationship, here is how you get one: it's called a Stairmaster."

No - it's not the most uplifting quote. But it did put a fire under my butt.

So here I was - 12:00 am, wide awake, feeling down, and I remember (1) the movie quote & (2) speaker from Sunday who talked about goal setting. So what did I do? Well...it's pretty self explanatory. I followed the guy's advice (I don't remember his name...sorry) and wrote down goals to get myself in better shape. I'm not saying I'm doing this just to get a guy - that'd be lame. But I'm hoping that it won't hurt ;) hehe.

So here it is - my new goal: lose 30 pounds by April 30, 2011.

What I hope to achieve by reaching my goal (other than a smaller waistline):
(1) healthier lifestyle
(2) more self-esteem

I know the next 6 months are not going to be that easy - especially with the holidays and yummy food/sweets. But I'm going to do it. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

One More Month = One More Year

Today is exactly one month from my birthday (Nov. 24 if you didn't want to figure that out on your own haha). I don't know why, but this birthday coming up is really hard for me. Normally it's the milestone birthdays that are hardest for people - 25, 30, 40...etc. But for some reason 27 is it for me.

I was fine with turning 25 - didn't care at all. Maybe that was because I was still considered a child by my friends in New York and being on the younger side of the group helped me feel that way too. Plus I was in Paris on my birthday and can you really have a bad birthday when it's in Paris? I think not.

26 wasn't too bad either. That was probably due to the fact that I was about to make a life changing move (quit PwC and come back to Utah), I was going to Costa Rica in the near future, spent my birthday with lots of friends who I love, and besides...26 doesn't sound THAT old.

But 27...

Man! That sounds OLD!!! I don't feel old, but I am (or I should say will be). Well...I actually do feel old sometimes. It's probably because I'm settled. I have a house. I have a job. I have set down roots. I never thought I'd be where I am now still not married. I figured that if I ever moved back to Utah and bought a house it would be with a husband and kids. If I were to ever think about what my life would be like at 27 (which I never did because who ever thinks about such a random age?) it wasn't what it is now. I'm not saying life is bad, it's just VERY different from what I ever wanted or thought would happen. So in that respect I do feel old...like an old maid.

I never truly understood why women would lie about their age and say they were younger than they really are. Until now. I've considered it. I've considered not letting anyone know it was my birthday and keep on pretending that I'm 26. And the next year, I'd do the same thing. Then maybe I could stay 26 for at least 5 more years (by then I might actually look 26 so then I guess I could start getting older). But in order to really pull that off I'd have to move to where I don't know anyone. And keep moving every year. I mean...everyone knows you're supposed to get older every year even if you don't actually celebrate a birthday.

But really...what am I saying? Move every year for the rest of my life just so that no body knows that I'm on old maid? That sounds ridiculous even to me. So I guess I'll just stay here, put on a happy face, and pretend that it's okay that I'm quickly becoming an old maid and that 27 is just another number - no different than 25 or 26.

Tonight I had the following conversation:

Woman: hi! My name is Jane (meaningful look given)
Me: I'm Kristy. I'm a friend of the family
(another meaningful look from 'Jane')
My friend: yep! Kristy was our tutor for about 5 years.
Woman: WHAT?!?!? You aren't old enough to have been their tutor!
Me: oh, well I'm 27 (ok...I'm ALMOST 27...but it's close enough)
Woman: oh my goodness! I thought you were 17! At most 18 (yeah that one year makes a BIG difference). Do you know how lucky you are? Seriously...you're sooooo lucky!

Haha! I get that I look younger than I am ALL the time, but this one was a good one! Just wanted to share.